6/27/2007 Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
My head is strangely clear now, which is as confusing as anything. People seem to be treating me differently and I don't know why. I am gaining weight again. I am not binging at all or really overeating at all, but I am still gaining weight like a fiend. Whatever, I'm past getting pissed about it.
Yesterday, to try to get past the mental corner into which I have painted myself, I picked up my book of Zen. I always have liked Zen, and I think undertaking a meditation practice will help with my diet and help me to enjoy myself in a way that doesn't destroy me. The thing is, in order to lose weight, I have to eat significantly less than a moderate diet. But we'll see.
I really can't figure this out, I am thinking very clearly. I don't know how long it will last but I feel kinda normal and I think that sucks.
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