Friday, June 15, 2007

6/15/2007 It's Not A Tumor

6/15/2007 It's Not A Tumor



I am hearing bodily noises consistently now. Noises like stomachs grumbling, and joints cracking. But it's not coming from my body. Sometimes it comes from next to me. And sometimes it comes from the other room.

I had my doctor appt. today but all my symptoms broke for it and he just said let's hope they continue to get better. There was a perfect girl in the waiting room and she had a high voice like Jennifer Tilly, which I love. But she was nervous and fidgety and that made me nervous. Then another women came in with her mother. She kind of made some short comments to her mom, which always seems cruel to treat older people that way, but I don't know the back story. This women looked to have ten years on me but her body was still fantastic. While waiting she asked her mother, “Why do men get more handsome as they age while women just look old?” I think she was talking about the Fedex guy right in front of her. He was like 60 and working for Fedex. Was it the uniform? I guess being a loser doesn't repel women at all. If she fucked that guy, she'd kill him. She'd kill me, too, though.

This morning I woke up completely convinced that I was in love with a girl with whom I used to be in a support group. She had great eyes, and a great body. But then I started masturbating and this other women took over who does my laundry. Go figure. I like her, she's really pretty and nice. She has a great round face for kissing. But then, prior to a brief sojourn into Nancy Kerrigan, I finished for a Boy I used to play baseball with. I declare that to be my tribute to the whole Mass. Gay marriage thing.

One thing that often annoys me when I masturbate is that if I have an orgasm for a woman, than I probably won't want to think about her for a few days. That's something very strange that has been with me forever. I masturbate over a female and then I lose interest. Not in all sex but just her. It's weird, I guess it's instinct. It must hurt marriages. It reminds me of the movie, “Someone Like You.” All guys think they're studs. If I ever thought that it got beat out of me by women a long time ago.

Tomorrow I begin my own list of women I want to marry, followed by subversive love.

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