5/22/2007- Love At First Site Continued...Hottie Outcasts

05/22/2007 Love At First Site Continued... The Hottie Outcasts

Another boring day. Last night I made the mistake of taking a nap when I got home. Whenever I do that I can't sleep come evening. I got like three hours last night and pretty much mailed it in at work. Whatever, though. The effects of my disease still linger somewhat, and in general I am not able to enjoy the summer much yet, excepting the girls in their shorts, which takes me out of myself.

I had some plans for the day, but felt so lousy I just came home. Whatever. I started working out again last night, so hopefully my energy will return. Or maybe I hope it won't, I'm not sure. After all, when I have the energy I will feel like I have to do something constructive with it, and I am determined to be counterproductive.

Anyway, to continue with yesterday's theme: Love at first site. Or should I have said, “falling in love from a far”. What is the classification of what happened to me? You may call it obsession, but that implies the sexual. You might call it a crush, oh, please don't. Can love exist when two people don't know each other? If we are two halves of the same soul, it certainly looked better on her. I often think that if I did find my soul mate she'd run the other way and try to find someone who isn't her soul mate. “Did you try not being my soul mate?”

I can hear the arguments coming into my mind now. “You were in love with her body.” Can you love a body? If I only loved her body, why wasn't I sexually attracted to her? Why was I always thinking of romance? Of her mind? Of her (GULP, I can't believe I'm about to write this...) heart? (Yeesh. Good thing I post my first draft. Next I'll be using the word “special” or start to give thanks to Jesus or something. If there were a God he would not be a merciful one unless he spares me the destiny of wanting to listen to old music and fish for my old age.) I don't believe I was in love with her body. Or maybe I was. Maybe it's better that way.

After all, aren't we too sophisticated to mindlessly abide by the Ghost In The Machine theory? In all due respect to Descartes, I think most of the thoughtful people have moved past that, certainly in greater numbers than has abandoned Plato's soul mates theory. Do we not live in the post-modern era? Most of us don't, I know, but humor me. If we live in an era, in a country, when even the Christians try to stake a claim on being humanists, where we believe in questioning everything, and where being bored with something is enough of a reason to claim it's falsehood (or at least call it a cliché), isn't the Ghost In the Machine a thing of the past? Do we or do we not believe that the separation between the divine world and the physical one is fictitious? Her body was her soul.

Those of you who lack sophistication may scoff. “You are rationalizing.” But no. I will pull out that system that women hate. That system where the men “rank” the women by judging their appearance and rating them on a scale of 1 to 10. Of the three women I “fell in love” with, all three would be nines. “That proves it! All of them were beautiful. You were in love with their body.” No. The fact that they are all nines indicates that there are tens out there that I did not fall in love with. Furthermore, there are other nines out there that did not have the same effect.

Yet, I could not have been soul mates with all three, could I? Perhaps assortative mating explains all of this. It's true to say that all of the women did bare some notable resemblance to my mother. All were terminally polite people with high, soft voices. Two of the three originally caught my eye by being more quiet than I was. Fellow outcasts. Hottie outcasts. Sounds like a good name for a band.

Tomorrow, I will write about the last of my great empty loves. Her name was Jen. It's somewhat complex. After that, I will get into female intuition and sexual attraction, and then, of course, for fun, sexual subversiveness. I will delve further into genetics and prove once and for all that a little education is dangerous as compared to a full education, which is completely useless. ;)))